How can you help?
What I hear in the counselling room is always confidential however I would like parents/carers or family/friends to understand the common feelings discussed.
Am I good enough?
" I worry that my family deserve better than me"
"Sometimes I am angry or moody and I then feel guilty because I've upset them"
"They love my brother/sister more than me"
"I am always worried about what they think about me"
How does your child really feel behind the behaviour?
So often I work with incredible families that are trying their best to help their children through difficulties yet somehow they feel they are failing. Firstly do not blame yourself. No-one is born with an instruction manual so we can only do what we know or what we have seen or experienced.
Communication is often delivered through body language, facial expressions and the tone of your voice. Think about how your communication is being received. Your own self awareness is a great tool for helping those around you.
""I am told how ungrateful I am - compared to what they had"
It is possible that every parent has used this comment in passing at some point but what effect does it have?
This is a common discussion. Someone can be really struggling with what is going on in their head or may have fatigue or low motivation for a number of reasons. Being accused of laziness or ungratefulness has a huge affect on your self esteem. Try asking how they feel that day?
"Would you mind helping me with ...
Everyone wants to know they are loved, wanted and needed.
It is easy to recognise what isn't/has not been done or achieved when it comes to our children.
Brushing their teeth, homework, going to school etc all of these things are things you know as an adult need to be done because of consequences but do you positively recognise them?
A well done for being responsible, working hard, being kind or just being you!?
Is this because we worry about the reflection they have on us as parents?
Is it because we desperately want them to achieve to their potential?
Only you know the answer to your situation, but what if you were different?
What if you told them you loved them more? What if you recognised how unique they are? How funny they are? There are many reasons you can tell someone how perfect they are every single day.
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